I was a Dog (The Dog Song)
Hey Mr. Clinton, "pardon me" for saying this, but
I think we should of just had you spayed or nuetered or somethin'
and kept you in office
And speaking of Dogs . . I was one myself once, but I became a folk
singer and I had to write a song called When I was a Dog
As always, I like to start this song nice and easy and then it's
gonna get ruff . . . . ruff
I never had to buy girls flowers or take them out on dates
No we just sniffed each other's butts . . . and went on home to
Yeah . . it may seem wrong and life wagged an ugly tale
but I had it made . . I had it all . . . when I was a dog
Times were tuff . . . ruff . . . ruff
Bones were hard . . . so hard
But I could pee . . . right out in the yard
It may seem wrong . . . so wrong
But I was better off . .
When I was a dog!
Now I had fleas and I couldn't walk upright
Cause hey . . I was a dog!
But I could hear silent whistles
And I was very adept at chasing sticks
Now I'll never forget the look on the mail-man's face
When he realized he shouldn't have opened that gate
And then he realized he probably shouldn't have walked through the
And here's the sad part . . .
Lookin' back . . I do have one regret . . . . toilet paper would
have been nice . .
Hey . . but, you were the ones who let me . . lick your face . .
(Assorted Dog Noises!)